Don't Do Drugs, Kids

Apparently, after I had made that gem about gang bangs, I had planned and written out most of a second post, but fucking forgotten about it because I'm goddamn useless. My hilarity lasers aren't charged at the moment so I'll just go ahead and throw this out there in the hopes that it will sate your thirst for my blogging blood.
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I gave myself three options for my next post; I could either continue being a filthy bastard and talk about pornography, talk about how unbelievably miserable I am, or take a step back and talk about music. Well, for your sakes, I decided I'd take a step back and delve into my musical history. I wouldn't want you to lose the little respect you have for me by posting a stream of disgusting posts now, would I? And I certainly wouldn't want to bring you down with my depressing bullshit.

It wasn't until the 8th grade that I'd gotten involved in the world of popular music*. In the 7th grade I'd listened a lot of compositions from RPG soundtracks after becoming friends with Mike, but that was it. In the 8th grade I was introduced to the Rock genre, specifically Punk Rock, and I found it it to be quite fitting for my rebellious phase. A friend of mine at the time had been the first to really expose me to it. It wasn't until I'd met him that I'd learned how to be "cool" with people, and not come off as so much of a loser/loner. Fun fact: I found out recently that he died of a heroin overdose sometime after high school, and apparently the guy that I smoked up with for the first time sold him the heroin that killed him (WHAT TANGLED WEBS WE WEAVE, EH?)

Right, so... music. Once I got into high school I made a group of friends that were into the "Punk Scene", as it were. I particularly remember a friend I made during freshman year named Noah. We called him Pinky because he would wear pink t-shirts often, and eventually one day he came to school with half his hair dyed pink (this was long before that faggot in Good Charlotte did it). Along with a few other rapscallions we rounded up, we decided we wanted to start a band*, and they designated me as the bassist. "Okay, we need a bassist. Steve, buy a bass and learn to play" were their words, I believe. I'd actually wanted to play the guitar, but I was young and impressionable and I didn't want them to stop being my friends, so I obliged.

So I bought a bass (a Fender P-Bass, which I regret because I still wish I had gone with the Jazz bass. God damn it what a horrible mistake), and slowly taught myself to play, because I sure as hell wasn't going to have someone else to teach me. Fuck that, I'm no communist. Through my misguided lessons I eventually got good enough to be able to play along with songs from my favorite bands at the time, Blink 182 and Greenday. I was quite obsessed with Mike Durnt and Mark Hoppus, as all I listened to was their bass playing.

After practicing enough, I played live shows during my Freshman, Sophomore, and Senior years. During Junior year my grades were terrible so I wasn't allowed, but I still played a Tsunami relief show at Pace University (I found the certificate they awarded me recently. That's what spurred this post. I think I'll frame it in front of my desk to make myself feel like less of a failure).

Freshman year we played Greenday - Basket Case, Sophomore year we played Blink 182 - All the Small Things, and Senior year I played The Beatles - And I love her (I even sang and played the second verse. This was one of the ballsiest things I'd ever done, considering how horrible my singing voice is). I even dedicated it to my girlfriend at the time, who was in the crowd watching. Yeah, I'm a fucking sweetheart.

I couldn't accurately explain to you what it felt like to perform in front of hundreds of people, it's difficult to describe unless you've performed live yourself (and not gotten booed off for being terrible. Seriously, get some lessons you scrub). It was sort of like being sucked off while eating cheesecake filled with heroin* in a jacuzzi, as hundreds of people cheered you on and basked in your almighty glory, only better, you know? Look, suffice it to say that I felt like a mother fucking Rock Star. They loved me, and I loved them. There are few things in the world that could have boosted my ego as much as performing live did.

I've seen Richie perform a few open mic nights this year, and its really made me miss performing. Hell, I've barely picked my bass up much at all in the last few years, but I have been trying to get back into it recently and started working on a few of my own songs. It's absurd that I haven't already, considering the vast majority of my friends are musicians. I wonder how that even happened? It certainly had nothing to do with all the drug-usage we have in common.

Nah', couldn't be.


*This is actually a lie. My first dip into popular music was in the 6th grade when I became obsessed with Wu-Tang Clan after watching the music video for TRIUMPH. Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuttin' to fuck with!

*We decided our band name would be Garbage Juice, after a stunt I pulled with my skateboard that landed me in a pile of trash. Oh what clever lads we were.

*It's a well-known fact that heroin is delicious. Ask your parents.
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Aaren: STFU AND BASK IN MY GLORY!
Me: bask in MY glory, more like
Aaren: Uhm, already did.
Aaren: YOU PEED ON ME :/
Me: couldn't resist.
Aaren: Smelled like hard liquor and failure.
Aaren: AHAHAHA
Me: OUCH.
Me: sick burn.
Aaren: ;)
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Jaye: this girl looks like a mannequin
Me: holy shit it's a robot
Me: i would have sex with that robot